Shall I let you in on a little secret? I've always wanted a pet zombie. Well... not always -- more like for the past decade of my life (wow, I can actually say that without being like five). Anyway, back to the zombie. I've wanted a pet zombie for years. I would name him BoBo -- and it would be pronounced Bob-o... sort of like Hawaii 5-0... you know, like book 'em, Dano.
And stop and think about it -- how awesome would it be to have a zombie for a pet...?! No one would want to be mean to you because you'd have a snarling, foaming-at-the-mouth, hungry zombie on a leash behind you just waiting to get out there and eat someone. But BoBo wouldn't eat just anyone -- no; just my enemies and people who epically annoy me. (Wait... then there would be very few people that would still be alive...) I would say that I would take BoBo to Hollywood and let him feast on the little starlets, but then poor BoBo would always be hungry. I really don't want that to happen. It would be cruel and unusual punishment.
But the question that would arise would be whether or not having a pet zombie would constitute as some sort of crazy slavery. On the one hand, I would be owning a humanoid -- meaning something that looks like a person with hands and fingers and toes and whatnot. But on the other hand, BoBo wouldn't know anything from his life before he was dead. (Or at least, I don't think he would know anything.) What made Bobo a human -- his free thinking, free will, and conscience and personality -- would be gone. The only things left would be the primal urge to feed -- and on actual conscience humanoids.
But the issue of crazy slavery aside, think about how cool it would be to have a zombie. Just think about it. Seriously. Think about it.


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