The two poems that I chose were “The Lady’s Dressing Room” by Jonathan Swift and its counter “The Reasons That Included Dr. Swift to Write a Poem Called the Lady’s Dressing Room” by Lady Mary Wortley Montagu. These were two of the most overtly humorous poems from the bunch that were read. These made me both cringe and laugh.
Honestly, Swift’s half of the argument was much more comic; I read several parts out loud to my mother. That said, his argument was also much more disgusting. Lady Montagu was a little more subtle in her plot, and I only enjoyed it half as much as Swift’s. Her argument seemed to stray at some parts and only had a bit of humor. Her argument was, of course, a rebuttal to Swifts, and perhaps that is the reason for the lack of humor – or maybe she just wasn’t an overtly funny person.
Swift’s poem deals mostly with the ridiculous pedestals that men place women on when really women are just as piggish as men. To paraphrase some of the lines that he uses to describe the female folly – she has a dirty smock with sweaty armpits (lines 11-12), a bunch of combs used for different things that have a caking of dandruff and powder and hair (20-24), an oily cloth that she wipes her face with (25), different washes and pastes that sit next to a sink where she spits and vomits (36-41), sweaty stockings (53), old nightclothes a week old (54), finally coming upon her chamber pots – which of course stink (100-118).
What, honestly, does the man, Strephon, think? That women wake up looking great and beautiful? Alright, granted, most women make themselves look like they are perfect upon waking, but it does take a while, like Swift mentions in line 1 – taking five hours to primp and preen. Of course, Swift is over-exaggerating his point. It doesn’t really take that long. At any rate, Swift kind of says that all those icky flaws that Strephon discovers are really quite endearing because it lets men know that they really are just women and not something celestial. He does it in such a way that embarrasses women and makes them shrink in shame of their dirty habits, but in a way, it’s almost a good thing. Men won’t think that their new wives are always beautiful.
Lady Montagu rebuts in saying that men just don’t understand – they just don’t get it. A gentleman goes to his lover’s house – probably to partake in a tryst – and finds that his Lady’s room is quite an… interesting place. From lines 44-54, she digresses her humor and tale, and tells readers that, basically women are just like everyone else – that, yes indeed, we use toilets too! – and that men should just hush about our “flaws”.
In the whole next to last stanza, Lady Montagu talks about how the tryst was beginning, and the Doctor (who is, of course Swift) couldn’t continue because her stench was so great. Thus, a great argument ensues where retorts are thrown. She says that it’s not really her fault that there is a smell (he’s just being sensitive) and that he should leave because she’s insulted (as she should be) (line 74-77). Doctor says that, of course, he’s going to describe the muck that she lives in, and she replies “’I’m glad you’ll write,/ You’ll furnish paper when I shite.’” (line 86-89). That was the funniest part for me. She says that women are just like men in those lines – that they have to use the loo just like men have to. And, of course, they need paper too.
That final couplet right there is probably the worst jab at Swift by saying that the only thing his work is good for is toilet paper. While Swift had the funnier poem, Montagu had the KO punch with that line. She lands the final blow. It can’t feel good to have someone say your work is basically only worth wiping excrement off of a bottom.
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